How I got here - a little background.

In January 2007 I met my husband at my sister-in-law's 30th birthday party. I was single and NOT looking at the time but he was very persistent and got me to agree to a date. We hit it off and have been pretty much inseparable ever since. We moved in together in June of 2008 and were married in July of 2012. He is my best friend and I cannot imagine my life without him.

Soon after the wedding we decided to try for our first child. I gladly stopped taking birth control pills in October 2012 and we got to work (heehee). Of course, I was completely naive in the beginning and expected to be knocked up right away. Needless to say that didn't happen. After a couple of months I decided to start using OPK's and charting my BBT. With those, I could tell exactly when my body was ovulating so I knew our timing was on point. Month after month we kept trying with near perfect timing and still no positive HPT. The process became very frustrating, and upsetting and deep down I felt something must be wrong. However, I tried to remain positive and kept reminding myself that it could take up to a year to get pregnant.

I reached out to some friends and family to vent my frustrations and got all of the typical (and terrible) advice. I was told things like, "You just need to relax and it will happen" and "If you stop trying it will happen". Yeaaah....not so much.

By the time August rolled around (month 9 of trying) I felt like I was at whits end. I had tried everything from relaxing, lying down and raising my hips after sex, charting, OPK's, exercise...nothing seemed to make any difference. And I couldn't understand why I had to wait another 3 months before I could get any testing - honestly, I still don't. I think anyone over 30 should try for 6-9 months and if no success they should be able to start testing. But then again, that's coming from my personal situation.

Fast forward to October 2013. Finally, I was at the testing point. I didn't waste any time scheduling an appointment with an RE. Within 4 days of calling my testing began. For my cycle day 3 testing I had blood drawn and had a trans-vaginal ultrasound, and the following week I had a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) done.  When all of my results came in, they showed that I have Diminished Ovarian Reserve. I was devastated to say the least. I can't help but still feel angry (at what and/or who, I have no idea) and ask WHY ME?! It's hard not to feel this way when most of the people you're surrounded by are "fertile myrtle's". And not knowing anyone else in real life with fertility issues means there is no one to talk to that can relate.

I've told most of my immediate family about my infertility, but to be honest it doesn't help much. They try to be supportive but most times things don't come out the right way and end up being hurtful, or they just piss me off. It isn't their fault, and I'm aware of that. It will just take some time for them to learn what is ok, and not ok,  for them to say/ask.

So, the next step in our journey will be treatment. In December I will begin taking Clomid, and assuming that I respond well I will be having my first intrauterine insemination (IUI). I pray to God that we get luck and get pregnant on the first try, but I am not going to psych myself up just to be let down.

My everything will be crossed until further notice...